I was wondering what my very first BLOG to you would be….what would inspire me to begin!
Today was the day! The photos above are from April 20, 2016, taken in the Grand Canyon on my cross country drive from Santa Barbara, California (my home of 24 years), to St. Louis, Missouri. I was born and raised in STL until I moved to Los Angeles when I was 22. I lived in SoCal for 42 years until circumstances in my life brought me to the decision to move back to STL.
This move was one of the biggest and most tumultuous undertakings I had ever done. Why tumultuous? Well, turns out the people I thought would be in my life, provide me with safety & security…..turned out not to be in my life at all. The biggest gifts I now see came from my letting go of what I thought my move to STL would look like….realizing my expectations were based on what I thought I needed and wanted. I discovered that being open to the gifts of new friendships and adventures have allowed magic to happen! At the same time, I strengthened my resilience muscle and found courage to keep going.
Some of my biggest a-ha moments came out of the deep pain of those disappointments; not to mention my fears, doubts & worries. ‘WTH?’ I thought. How could I be so off about who would be my support system here in STL? As I asked those questions over and over, I found answers through meditation, prayer, and my MOJO journal pages. So, those lessons from these experiences turned out to be my biggest allies as I leaned into the messages for my soul! Turns out that surrendering my need to know and to have control has allowed me to feel the fear and do it anyway. Persistence, courage and willingness to be in a discovery process with the unknown paid off.
So, by not running back to Santa Barbara – the familiar, what I thought was my safety net – has brought me the gift of knowing the Universe has my back….now and always. My morning practice of being still for 15 minutes in AM/PM helped me settle down, to not spiral out. This practice of sitting and listening to Spirit grounded me. Helped me pay attention to what matters; listening, discovering & witnessing my deepest soul’s desires and see what transpires. As I gave myself the gift of quiet time and experienced my disappointments, they began to lift. The disappointments became clearer and then I became clearer with what I wanted. I was then able to see more clearly and manifested a life that felt authentic and supported my hopes & dreams.
QUESTIONS FOR YOU TO JOURNAL ON WHILE WE ARE ALL AT HOME:
What are your takeaways so far as to what has inspired you or disappointed you while being at home? What emotions come up over and over?
What are the most meaningful moments you discovered about your life, your patterns, your biggest fears during this time?
What discoveries about yourself during this time surprised you? Why?
What are you grateful for while on this HomeStay time during COVID-19?
LOOKING FORWARD TO CONNECTING SOON!